Are You In An Abusive Relationship Or Are You An Abuser?
The 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence is an annual international campaign that kicks off on 25 November.
42 000 REPORTED RAPES IN SOUTH AFRICA LAST YEAR…DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HAS REACHED EPIDEMIC PROPORTIONS…
Ask yourself these questions, does someone:
* Embarrass you or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
* Put down your accomplishments or goals?
* Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
* Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
* Tell you that you are nothing without them?
* Treat you roughly – grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
* Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
* Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
* Blame you for how they feel or act?
* Pressure you sexually for things you aren’t ready for?
* Make you feel like there “is no way out” of the relationship?
* Prevent you from doing things you want – like spending time with your friends or family?
* Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson”?
Do you:
* Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
* Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behaviour?
* Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
* Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
* Feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with you?
* Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
* Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?
If any of these are happening in your relationship, don’t be embarrassed to reach out. Tell a friend, police, doctor, contact Lifeline, family member, therapist, teacher, co-worker or boss.
DON’T REMAIN SILENT!
The abuse will continue and will affect you and if you have children, they will see and hear what is going on.
Abuse breeds abuse.
